Free Father’s Day Advice

Happy Father’s Day to the men in our audience, especially to dads, but also to the grandfathers, uncles, stepdads, scout leaders and others who help kids grow up with good values. Virtually every study done on families will underscore the importance of having a strong father.

Here is some free advice and encouragement for you on your big day.

In writing “Secrets of the Dark Closet,” I spent a lot of time thinking about family relationships. Do you know that being a good father has historic importance? A good father-child relationship is like having a solid foundation when constructing a building. The footing allow a child to grow into the adult he or she was meant to be. And just as a well-built building can last for centuries, the effects of good parenting can flow down through several generations.

Children who grow up in a secure environment, who know they can depend on their parents, have a head start in life. And the truth is, an overwhelming number of young people who get in trouble come from dysfunctional homes.

Moreover, dads, often the real messages you send aren’t things you say, but things you do. Did you take your kids fishing? Read the same book to them night after night? Teach them to ride bike? Help them change a tire on that bike? Make memories of camping trips or special holidays? Let me tell you, they’ll remember when you sat on a tiny chair and drank pretend tea, or fixed a fancy lunch for them, such as a box of mac and cheese or ramen noodle soup.

Those not-so perfect times turn into good memories in the future. So don’t stress out if you lost your cool when you couldn’t get the campfire going, or weren’t the best reader in the world, or if you burned the soup. It’s okay. Your kids need you and they understand if your halo is a bit tarnished.

But maybe you are, or were, working a lot and missed important moments in their growing up years. Or maybe you divorced and hardly saw your kids. As long as you have life, it is never too late to begin again. Do you know there are thousands of adult children who would give anything to hear from their dad? They still need and want to have dad say you’re proud of them. That you love them.

Three generations of guys in my family

Your values never show more clearly than when seen through a child’s eyes. So show, don’t tell, them what is important in life. Do you keep your promises to them? Do you tell the truth and do what is honorable even if no one is watching? What you do and say will set the stage for not just your children, but also their children.

While you’re at it, do your kids a favor and give them a gift that they can hold onto, that they will treasure. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Perhaps your father gave you something that you can pass down to your children. Maybe it’s your own prize fishing tackle, belt buckle, or a sports or military award. Give it to your child as a keepsake.

While material gifts are good, gifts that feed their souls are even better. Attend church and take them along. Spend time reading your Bible and share any meaningful scriptures you find. Your children may look bored or cross their eyes when you talk to them, but they will also store away your insights like they are sacks of gold. Someday they’ll tell others, “My old man said—,” and then repeat your words.

If they are having problems, don’t be afraid to say, “Let’s pray about that.” And for Pete’s sake, don’t get all spiritual and speak with thee’s and thou’s. A simple plea, “Lord, help my child get through this,” perhaps spoken with a trembling voice, will touch the heart of both your child and God.

Are you wondering how you can be a good father when you didn’t have a good role model yourself? In the book of John, Jesus talked a lot about his relationship with his Father in heaven. He often slipped away to spend time with God. In doing so, he showed us what we need to do. In John 16: 13, he encouraged his followers by saying that the Holy Spirit would guide us into all truth. That means God can even show you how to be a great father.

Jesus probably lost his earthly father when he was young, but his strong relationship with God the heavenly Father more than made up for it. Your heavenly Father is waiting to hear from you. Waiting to fill in those empty holes in your heart. Waiting to be the father to you that no human can fulfill.

I know. This is Father’s Day. The kids are supposed to remember you. Give you a call. Give you a gift. Tell you that you are special. But even on this special day, your role as father is to lead by example, so don’t wait to be blessed by your kids. Instead, be proactive and bless them. It may be your best Father’s Day ever.

Writing Update

My Wonder Woman cup isn’t speeding up the publishing process!

By now I expected to announce that “Secrets of the Dark Closet” had been published, but alas it remains in the publishing process. As of this week, the art department is working on the cover.

Meanwhile, I am assembling a list of email addresses to let readers know when and where it’s available, and to set up book readings, etc. Chances are I don’t have your email address unless you’ve heard from me recently. So, please hit Reply and send me your address. I promise to keep you updated, but not to clog your email box.